When troubles in the classroom require a call to the parent – a teacher’s least favorite chore

                Calling home is the last thing many teachers want to do, at least that certainly was the case for me. After you have listened to the student, talk with the student, changed the seating chart and nothing improves, it is time to make that call. Parents dread receiving such a call as much as teachers dread making it. How can you, as the teacher, help make that call easier for everyone concerned, including the child?

              

  Remember the parent is as anxious as you are for the child to succeed in school. Your call home should be designed to create a partnership between you and the parent, not to cause the two of you to become adversaries. Too often what parents hear when you call to complain about their child is: ‘You’re a bad parent because your child acts up in class.’ I know, I know that’s not what you are saying, but that is what the parent is hearing nevertheless.

Also, you need to acknowledge, parents have a history of interacting with teachers. Many of them had bad experiences with teachers when they were in school and still carry a fear/hatred of teachers in their subconscious. This doesn’t make it any easier for them to get a call from school. And this is most likely not the first call they have gotten from a teacher complaining about their child. When they see their caller ID come up with the school name, they know it’s going to be bad.

                Every communication concerning troubles with a child in class should start the same way. When the parent answers the phone or reads the email the first sentence after the introduction they hear or read is: ‘I am calling to ask your advice.’

                This one sentence immediately takes the conversation into the realm of a consultation. No longer is the call perceived as an accusation. Now it is you seeking the help of the person who knows her child the best, the parent.

                The follow up conversation goes like this: ‘I am having trouble with Johnny; he constantly talks in class when it is inappropriate. I have tried numerous things, but nothing is working. Can you give me some ideas of a better way to handle this situation?’

                I started using this approach from the beginning of my teaching career. During that time I have amazing results, with only a very few negative experiences.

                I called one parent of a seventh grader. I started as I always do. There was complete silence at the other end of the line. I could feel the shock reverberate over the phone line. Then the parent said to me: ‘You are the first teacher in seven years to ever ask me that.’

                She and I had a long conversation about her child. She told me of the problems they had been having in the home and with him. I ask about his interests. She told me about his extracurricular activities and what they meant to him.

                The next day this young boy walked into my classroom smiling. ‘You called my mother.’ And he was thrilled about it! That was the end to the troubles he created in my classroom. He knew I was on much on his side as was his mother and we both wanted to see him succeed in school and in life.