When the troubles in the classroom are your troubles – how to deal with problems you created

                So you lost it. It happens to us all. Maybe you didn’t sleep well. Maybe you were fighting off a respiratory infection. Maybe you had an argument with your significant other. Whatever the reason, you simply were past being able to be calm in class. Yesterday you may have laughed at exactly the same event, but not today. Today, you yell at the student and kick him out of the room. No ‘please,’ just ‘get out.’

photograph courtesy of the U.S. Geological Survey

                You’ve had some time to think about it and now you’re feeling ashamed of yourself. What Johnny did  wasn’t all that bad, besides you were the one that really caused the class disruption because of the way you reacted.

                I hate to think of how many times this happened to me. Most of them I can’t even remember what I was mad about. Some stick with me: the day I got mad at a student for telling a test answer in front of the class, when he didn’t know it was a test question; the day a student started to make fun of my shoes; and the day a student played with the pulley system when I had told him not to touch it. Really none of those events were earthshaking and didn’t need for me to get unhinged about it.

                When I first started teaching I just hoped the students would forget it all by the next day and we could resume our normal interactions. On the surface that is exactly what happened. Yet deep inside me I knew that wasn’t true.

                Ask yourself this: are you still mad at your first grade teacher for humiliating you in front of the class? I am. If I could meet up with her today I believe I would tell her off, even now sixty years later. If I feel that way about something that long ago, how did my student react to something that happened yesterday?

                After a few years I learned that an apology goes a long way to repair an injured relationship. I also realized that my apology needed to be as public as my offense. So I swallowed my pride and apologized in front of the whole class when I needed to.

                Did this make me appear weak to my students? No, on the contrary, I have had students remark how big it was of me to be willing to admit my mistake.

                But what if the student actually was in the wrong? I learned to apologize for overreacting to the situation. Even if I had cause, it did not give me permission to lose my cool. I found more often than not my apology consisted of ‘I overreacted yesterday and I am sorry.’ That was all that needed to be said – short, simple and to the point.

                Through the years I also learned to recognize when I was in left field while I was there. I didn’t need to mull it over later that day. I knew the minute I said it I was out of bounds. I still had my anger to deal with and needed time out. As a teacher I didn’t have the privilege of leaving the classroom for a few minutes. I had to stay there. My only alternative was to ask (demand?) the student leave. When I did, however, I added: ‘until I calm down.’ That took the problem away from the student and put it on my own shoulders where it belonged. The students already knew what had set me off and they also knew it was probably not a good idea to continue in the same vein. After that interaction, I could continue teaching in peace, which is, after all, the only reason for classroom management: to allow you to teach and the students to learn.

               

Let the student do the talking – it can prevent troubles for a teacher

                The trouble has reached the point you, the teacher,  need to request the student instigating it step out the door and wait for you to come talk with him. He may or may not comply at the first request, usually students do, but sometime you need to remind him of rule one, Follow Directions. Usually that gets him out of the room.

                So he’s gone. Now it’s time to get the class back on track. DO NOT STOP TEACHING. Go on until you reach a natural stopping point. Once the students are involved in the task at hand, casually walk out the door as if you didn’t have a care in the world. Remember students are always watching how you react. If you are riled up they know it immediately. If you are calm, they recognize that you are in control of yourself and the class. Stay calm.

                If you are upset about the discipline issue, wait. Sometimes another student would think I had forgotten the student standing out in the hall and reminded me that he was there. I’d say, ‘Yes, I know.’ And go on with teaching.

                When you are no longer angry go out to talk with the student. You may find him seated on the floor or pacing the hall, or he may just be standing waiting there. From past experience he is expecting that you will come out angry and start berating him for the infraction that sent him out in the first place.

                He is about to be taken by surprise. You walk out the door and simply ask a question. The question depends on the situation. After you ask the question you simply wait for the students to answer it. I promise you will be surprised more often than not.

One time I asked, ‘Why did I request that you come out into the hall?’ The young man answered, ‘Because I called him a douche bag.’ I hadn’t heard that part of the conversation. I had to come up with a response fast. So I said, ‘And?’ His answer: ‘I talk too much.’

After the student has acknowledged that there is a problem you still need to let him do the talking. Now it’s time to ask him what he plans to do about the situation.  In the above case I asked, ‘What do you think you could do about it?’ His answer: ‘Not talk so much.’

After the student proposes a solution, ask if that’s what he wants to try and then invite him back into class. Frequently that will lessen the trouble you’ve been having with this student by a marked degree. In the particular case I just described I never had to request the student leave the room again.

Another case involved a middle school student. Just before the class dismissed for lunch, I saw his binder go flying, ending up under another student’s seat. I requested that he step out in the hall and stay until I had a chance to speak with him. The bell rang, I dismissed the other students and then went out in the hall to talk with the young man in question, I’ll call him Johnny.

I said, ‘Johnny, how did you binder end up under Sam’s desk?’

‘It was at the edge of the table and I happened to hit it,’ was Johnny’s reply.

‘Would you demonstrate that for me?’ I asked.

We went back into the classroom; he put the binder at the edge of the table, sat down and hit it with his elbow. Of course it only fell to the floor directly below his table.

‘Wow,’ I said, ‘that didn’t even come close to Sam’s chair.’

‘I guess I must have hit it harder than that,’ he offered. I suggested he try it again. The binder failed to go the required distance even with a more determined shove.

‘Okay, here’s what really happened.’ he said,’ I threw it at Sam because I was mad at him.’

‘Oh, I see. What do you think I should to keep this from happening again?’

‘Move me away from Sam.’

‘I’ll do that next class. Have a good lunch.’

Johnny was a chatty young man, but ended up the year one of my quietest, most cooperative students. Letting him do the talking in a difficult situation made all the difference in the world in our teacher-student relationship.

If you want more information on this theme go to: http://www.loveandlogic.com/c-13-classroom-management-discipline.aspx

Classroom management when things go wrong – they know the rules but still cause trouble

                You’ve done everything right. The first few weeks have gone ever so smoothly. And suddenly troubles start in your classroom. So what are you, the teacher, supposed to do now? It’s so easy to revert to what you experienced as a student. Troubles start and the teacher is in trouble, yelling at the class, demanding order and losing students’ respect. We’ve all seen it happen during our years as students, but how are we going to prevent it during our years as teachers?

                The first thing you must do as a teacher is learn to listen. At this point I am not talking about listening to students – that will come later –I’m talking about listening to adults interacting with children. If you are at the grocery store and hear a parent disciplining a child, listen to what is said and how it is said. If you are at a parent/teacher conference, listen to the interactions between parent and student, teacher and student, and counselor and student. Don’t listen judgmentally, just listen. Watch how the child reacts. Does the interaction end with the desired results on the part of the adult? Has the child learned anything from the interaction?

                As you listen ask yourself how this applies to your classroom. Is this the outcome you seek from your students? What can you emulate and what should you avoid?

                One parent conference I sat through left me resolved not to say anything more to my student about his unwillingness to do the class assignment. After I listened to the mother go on and on, never stopping long enough for me even to say anything to her, I realized that her son’s only recourse to maintain any kind of selfhood was to not do his school work. It was the only way he had of being an individual instead of her puppet. I know I didn’t want that kind of outcome with my interaction with students.

                Another conference I was at was an IPE meeting where I was the classroom teacher of record. Here the special ed teacher talk incessantly about how the student needed to keep on the straight and narrow (he had just come out of long term incarceration.) The student never said one word, just looked at the teacher and the teacher never stopped to even ask the student about his plans. I was not surprised when this student ended up going back into rehab. This conference had been a waste of breath for the instructor and a waste of time for the student. This isn’t what I wanted for my students.

                I will cite only one more conference that I attended, but I could go on and on like too many parents/teachers/counselors. In this parent/teacher conference it was the counselor that would not shut up. He just kept on telling the student what he should be doing in class to get better grades. I came away from that conference thinking if I were that student I’d dig in my heels and do just the opposite, just to assert myself as an individual. That’s not the kind of reaction I wanted from my students.

                As I teacher I developed the philosophy that the least said the better, and more powerful, the interaction. I learned not to use talk to discipline unless it was absolutely needed, and then to use the minimum of words that I could. How did this look in my class?

                As I was standing at the door greeting students, if a student came to class with his hat on, I just pointed to my head as he walked up to me. The hat disappeared immediately without a word said. If he had a hoody pulled up, I would just gesture by brushing my hair back with my hand. The hoody came down with no words passing between us.

                If I were in front of the class, I might have to call a student’s name to get her attention, but then a gesture to pull down the hoody and take off the hat was all that I needed to do.

                If students were talking during instruction when they should have been listening, I simply stopped talking. I always made sure it was in the middle of a sentence, looked at the offending pair, and waited. After all rule four was ‘Only One Person Talks’ so I didn’t talk, just waited. If I needed to do more I would put my finger to my lips in the classic librarian’s gesture asking for silence. Usually that would do the trick and could move on with my presentation. When I started up again, I would start in exactly the place in the sentence that I had stopped as if there had been no hiatus.

                Whenever possible I would use this silent form of communication to keep students on task and learning. It did not interfere with instruction and kept the classroom functioning at a peak of performance. One of my principals commented on the fact I did not let managing behavior interrupt the class. It also meant I was able to teach even when I couldn’t say a word because of laryngitis. I maintain that when the teacher can’t talk the classroom is quieter because the students also tend to be quiet under those circumstances. If the teacher doesn’t talk or limits the amount of talking, the classroom also benefits from the silence.